SMOOTH SOUNDS

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DEFINING MOMENTS

The mood had set in, there was no turning back. It was one of those moods that you know is definitive. It was one of those moods that makes up your mind... I hadn't noticed any real change in my behavior, but, in retrospect, I can see that it began a month or so ago. I was no longer happy, and, hadn't been for a long, long time. I wasn't unhappy, but, I certainly was far from happy. I am talking happiness that stems from within, not the kind that comes from externals... Discovering this set many things in motion; I knew that I was in for a huge change, transition, and, relocation. It is like this, life gets shorter, not longer, so, why do we, complacently, stay in a place, or a situation, or with a person, when we are crying on the inside to be freed? I had read an article a while back about a woman who had lost her grandmother, and, on the return flight after the funeral, she had a conversation with a passenger on the plane, and, he told her something to the effect that if you do not go after your own happiness, how could it ever come to be? She went home and thought about this for a week or so, and, decided that he was right, knew that she was going to leave her home, her job, and, basically her life, to head for Puerto Rico. She had been long thinking about it, and, it took a stranger to make her see that was what she had to do. After I read this, I too, knew that he was right; although I have known it for years. I drag my feet, worrying about leaving people; I do not want others to suffer because of my life revelation. However, that was almost a year ago, and, the thought has done nothing but burn in me, and, made me realize that my happiness is supreme. I cannot go through life sparing others that they are happy, while I suffer. I have done it too long, and, it is time for my own life to begin...

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